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One thing that has always confused me is the way sex is taught in America--or I should say, lack thereof. I look at countries like the Netherlands who are mandated by law to start teaching sex ed in elementary schools and who consequently have the lowest number of teen pregnancies and number of STDs. We sit here dumbfounded by the alarming rates of unwanted pregnancies, abortions and STDs but can't open our eyes enough to see the answer is right in front of us.
The answer: Talking about it.
Growing up religious, I was often discouraged by some of the lessons I was given. Sex was put on this golden pedestal but was never presented in way that was comfortable enough for us to ask questions. School wasn't any better. To this day, I cannot remember ever receiving sex education in any of my classes. We briefly discussed reproduction in freshman Biology but never touched on the experience itself and preventatives. It's a miracle I'm not a complete idiot because of it [thanks for saving me mom and dad].
I don't get why we have to make sex this big secret! Everyone is wired to want it! It's cool stuff! I like it! I'm sure you like it too! And for those haven't had sex, I hope it's a beautiful experience that comes at the right time for you! Lee Gibbons, manager of the LDS Priesthood Department once said,
"Ideally, parents will learn to shift from the ‘big talk’ mentality to that of an ongoing conversation.”
I love that! How silly it seems to make such an important element of self identification anything less than a top priority. With that being said, for virgins and non-virgins alike, we both deserve quality education about what we are committing to. In a perfect world, that would entail a healthy mix of trained educators and family intervention.
I've often heard justifications like "we don't want them to get too curious" or "exploring sexual education will inevitably lead to premartial sex" .... honestly that's just lame. If you really want to talk about kids getting too curious, then tell them nothing and have them work off what media and television tells them about sex! Cause that's reeaalll accurate! As for the premarital sex issue, if a kid is going to do it, they're going to do it. Wouldn't you rather them be safe and protected if they do? I've said it once before and I'll say it again, education is absolute power. I think our withdrawal of this crucial piece of education is really speaking to the level of intelligence we hold our youth to. They are capable of understanding their own choices and it should be the adults empowering them to do so.
If abstinence is something you believe in {as someone who also believes in it} I applaud you! For those that don't, I applaud you as well! Having sex is a personal choice. For some it involves others like a partner or God but all in all, it's YOUR decision. Having kids sign a "I promise to be abstinent" certificate and giving them a lollipop IS NOT sexual education.
To be fair, I can understand the fear of parents simply wanting the best for their kids but at what cost? For those that argue that sex education should happen in the home, by all means, do it! But for those that don't have responsible parents [which is a disgraceful amount], those lessons need to happen in a secure and safe environment. For the best interest of every one's health and safety, let's put it in our curriculum already.
So as a friend, a soon-to-be-educator and a future parent, let's talk about sex more.
Resources:
Link to an article about Netherlands: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spring-fever/
How to talk to LDS youth about sex: https://www.lds.org/church/news/how-to-teach-children-about-sexual-intimacy?lang=eng
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