dear future children

Dear Future Children,

First off, you're so beautiful! Like wowzas! Daddy & I did good! 

Secondly, DO NOT try to wax any portion of your body on your own. I'm afraid the consequences will equate to the appearance of a meth user. 

Thirdly, sticking a fork into the creme of an Oreo will make dipping in milk so much more efficient and rewarding. 

And lastly, I hope to give you something a little more profound. 

This being, under no circumstances should you confuse the world of Instagram, Facebook or whatever you kids are using those days as the real world. Your daddy & I grew up in a world where people were dictated by the number of likes and consequently, created foundations for who could be friends with who. People didn't care what people had to say in conversation anymore and only cared about who you could appear to be in your pictures--ideally anything in the ballpark of happy, flawless, in love, adventurous, and if not the most relentless... trendy. 

What the hell does trendy even mean? And according to who?? The answer is... it couldn't matter even if the whole world thought it was important. Bottom line, as much I hope you're living in a superior world to the one I'm living in, my hopes are darkened by reality. You are most likely living in a world far more facetious than the one I'm describing and for that reason, I'm writing you now--before you can say I'm an old lady that doesn't know anything and before you think my sweatpants are so totally uncool [wrong. sweatpants will always be relevant. you'd be wise to remember that]--to tell you that the likes on your pictures do not, in any way, shape or form, define your worth as a human being. 

So, the next time you feel the urge to delete your picture because it didn't bring in the "acceptable" amount of likes, I dare you to post it again. I hope all your friends know how much you love your pictures with or without their validation. 

The next time you feel the need to document every aspect of your life, shut down the phone, relax your shoulders and breathe in the air of the present. How sad it would be to live your whole life through the lens of your camera phone. 

The next time someone decides to rant endlessly about last night's Twitter fight at school, I dare you tell a joke about a farmers tractor [you will have heard this joke from me almost a thousand times by now]. Be an example of someone who disregards the pettiness of humanity and instead puts their energy into things that uplift and inspire.

And lastly, the next time you feel the need to compare yourself to the fashionista with 500 likes in 2 minutes, remember that she probably feels the same way you do. There will ALWAYS be someone to compare yourself to regardless of how superior you think they are. If you find yourself getting caught up in that numbers game, put the phone down and go forth into the world to obtain a slurpee. They are $1.99 and that should be the only number of your concern.  

Daddy & I will give you a phone because we aren't in the business of making your life miserable but under one condition--that you contribute more to the world than just your posts. You must find a way to express yourself, give back, or speak up. Be so radical in your own unique way that people point and laugh with awesomeness. The world is here for your taking! Don't miss out because you were too busy looking at so-and-so's new ground-breaking, earth-shattering, world-changing haircut. 

Followers are only friends if you can eat cake and get in trouble together. Remember that. 

Seek to be worth knowing rather than being well known,

Mom

How to self accept: http://believeandcreate.com/self-acceptance-the-journey-to-the-real-you/ 

mystification of sex

[for more information on what this blog is about, check out the about tab]

One thing that has always confused me is the way sex is taught in America--or I should say, lack thereof. I look at countries like the Netherlands who are mandated by law to start teaching sex ed in elementary schools and who consequently have the lowest number of teen pregnancies and number of STDs. We sit here dumbfounded by the alarming rates of unwanted pregnancies, abortions and STDs but can't open our eyes enough to see the answer is right in front of us.

The answer: Talking about it.

Growing up religious, I was often discouraged by some of the lessons I was given. Sex was put on this golden pedestal but was never presented in way that was comfortable enough for us to ask questions. School wasn't any better. To this day, I cannot remember ever receiving sex education in any of my classes. We briefly discussed reproduction in freshman Biology but never touched on the experience itself and preventatives. It's a miracle I'm not a complete idiot because of it [thanks for saving me mom and dad].

I don't get why we have to make sex this big secret! Everyone is wired to want it! It's cool stuff! I like it! I'm sure you like it too! And for those haven't had sex, I hope it's a beautiful experience that comes at the right time for you! Lee Gibbons, manager of the LDS Priesthood Department once said,

"Ideally, parents will learn to shift from the ‘big talk’ mentality to that of an ongoing conversation.” 

I love that! How silly it seems to make such an important element of self identification anything less than a top priority. With that being said, for virgins and non-virgins alike, we both deserve quality education about what we are committing to. In a perfect world, that would entail a healthy mix of trained educators and family intervention.

I've often heard justifications like "we don't want them to get too curious" or "exploring sexual education will inevitably lead to premartial sex" .... honestly that's just lame. If you really want to talk about kids getting too curious, then tell them nothing and have them work off what media and television tells them about sex! Cause that's reeaalll accurate! As for the premarital sex issue, if a kid is going to do it, they're going to do it. Wouldn't you rather them be safe and protected if they do? I've said it once before and I'll say it again, education is absolute power. I think our withdrawal of this crucial piece of education is really speaking to the level of intelligence we hold our youth to. They are capable of understanding their own choices and it should be the adults empowering them to do so.

If abstinence is something you believe in {as someone who also believes in it} I applaud you! For those that don't, I applaud you as well! Having sex is a personal choice. For some it involves others like a partner or God but all in all, it's YOUR decision. Having kids sign a "I promise to be abstinent" certificate and giving them a lollipop IS NOT sexual education.

To be fair, I can understand the fear of parents simply wanting the best for their kids but at what cost? For those that argue that sex education should happen in the home, by all means, do it! But for those that don't have responsible parents [which is a disgraceful amount], those lessons need to happen in a secure and safe environment. For the best interest of every one's health and safety, let's put it in our curriculum already.

So as a friend, a soon-to-be-educator and a future parent, let's talk about sex more.

Resources:
Link to an article about Netherlands: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spring-fever/
How to talk to LDS youth about sex: https://www.lds.org/church/news/how-to-teach-children-about-sexual-intimacy?lang=eng